Do you know what are some stereotypes about Muslim women and how would you address them?
K: Most people have the perception that Muslim woman must be covered, loyal to her husband, that they always think about their children, try to live as peacefully as they can. But inside women´s mind different ideas can take place – they may want to be covered or not. They think that Islam ordered women they should be covered in order to men outside family cannot see your body except your face and hands. But this is perception in general, I have never been in any other Muslim country except Azerbaijan, but I also think Azerbaijan is not very religious place, that is why my thoughts about stereotypes are not clear. As an Azerbaijani woman I can say we also have inner peace inside us, we also can to be covered, if we want, so that only our husbands can see our body. But there can also be some difference. For example, women who want to have European style, wear shorts in summer and that’s totally ok, no one will judge you. In Azerbaijan also some women don’t want to get married. Many of them are helping victims of domestic violence in Baku.
T: I think many tourists come to our country, to our capital Baku and they find us pretty interesting because of the diversity they can meet here. They think that as other Muslim countries also in ours all women must be covered but the lucky thing is that our government is not religious so everything is up to you.
K: Also the style if you are covered it’s up to you. You can wear chadra, nikab, if you want – which is really rare, I have seen only two in 23 years. Or you can wear jeans that cover your legs and not to tight shirts/dresses that do not show your body shape. You can wear veils; it can be narrow one. Also the make-up is your choice.
T: The stereotypes are not only about the dresses. Living together before the marriage have just recently become normal so you are not killed or going to prison because of this. in our country abortion is not illegal before or even after the marriage but people think it’s immoral.
N: Personally I would never consider Azerbaijan as Muslim country even though some people consider them being Muslims. It’s not so typical for average Azerbaijani to pray, to fast … But in general the West Azerbaijan is considered as Muslim country. Western people perceive Muslim women like they don’t have any role in the society outside the family. They might think that women are only doing household chores and raising children. But in Azerbaijan you do your carrier and take care of your family at the same time. I see misperception of Muslim culture in western countries, for example my friends who travelled from Europe to Azerbaijan were shocked because they expected very radical country, women wearing black chadras but they got totally different point of view.
What are the advantages that you as woman have in Muslim culture?
N: Since prophet Mohamed women have an important position in Muslim society. Before the Islam era Arabs were killing baby girls because they all wanted boys. Since Islam has spread around this tradition was totally destroyed so people have perception women always should be respected. For example, on buses men always give their place to women but I know women in Europe are “Why are you giving me your place?!” since they are not used to this kind of tradition.
K: Men respect us because we give birth to their children. They always consider themselves as they have to protect women. They are also stronger than us so they, for example, carry our heavy bags. Even on a street somebody will approach us and help us carry our stuff.
N: It is sign of respect, if they help us. Men carry heavy bags and paying bills. They are afraid to be seen as impolite if they won’t do it. I think that people treat and respect women in the same way as they respect their mothers. If someone respects his mother, he will almost for sure respect other women, because his mother is woman as well.
T: In general, I think these things don’t depend on a religion or region. I think that it depends on the high standards of the society – high education, high life standard…
Are there differences in opportunities between you and your male peers, for example brothers or cousins?
K: I can say about going out late in the evening in the dark. My parents for example (if I am outside past than 10 pm) start to call me where I am. With my brother is OK, if he is out late hours. He might even come at 12 pm. That is the main inequality between men and women. Men have more freedom than women. But it is not the same case for travelling, I would say.
T: If my brother has some girlfriends it is ok for my family. And also he is proud of it like for example „I have 3 girlfriends”. But if you are a girl and you have more than one, it is a big, big shame for you. But for traveling and education there is no difference. My parents really have a strong to desire for us to have a good future. Because in Azerbaijan there is maybe a lower level of education they would be happy for us if we would continue our study abroad, maybe in Europe, and maybe even live there. I think, with European salaries we would be able to achieve higher standard of living.
K: Our parents are mostly concerned about their daughter´s education. They think that sons can do physically more demanding jobs without any problem (maybe in construction and things like this), but women cannot do it. But somehow also women have to be able to take care for themselves. My father always encouraged me to get high education, to enrol into master´s degree study and now he is pushing me into PhD.
T: About workplaces… If you are a boy you can work wherever you want. For example, you can work at bars, it is normal, because you do this for a living. But there are stereotypes about women who work at the bars.
N: I agree with Konül about the time restriction. But I don´t think this is connected only with Azerbaijan being a Muslim country. It is not that the girl could not go out alone. They are only very worried if I am coming home late in the evening.
About the working places I don´t think so. I think it´s not only a Muslim country thing – I think that also in Europe parents don´t want their daughters to work in a bar. If there are other options nobody would choose for their daughter to be a bartender.
E: Well in Slovenia a lot of girl work in bars before they enter a job in their profession. I would say it is the most common student job in Slovenia.
N: Well, I am a master student of diplomacy and why my parents would allow me to work in bar?
K: Yes, I am sure that mine would not.
S: I think it is a bit different in Slovenia. A lot of students come from other places to study and live in Ljubljana and they somehow have to make the living. They have to earn the money and they usually need to take the jobs that are available. And usually these are bar tendering jobs. But of course, if there would be better jobs available, they would take those. And there is not a problem if girls work in bars. But I noticed this trend that more and more guys work as bartenders. It is a bit easier. Because if you are a girl and drunk people are around, they sometimes bother girls. But if you are a man, you just say them to stop.
K: I agree. Also here in Azerbaijan our men have problem with drinking and others would say “Will you really serve drunk men?”. Because sometimes when they are drunk they start to insult people around them.
T: Well, I don´t totally agree with them because I work as a barmaid in one of our restaurants. I would say we have different kinds of bars in our city and there is a big difference among them. In some the drunk people can be a bit, how to say, aggressive, but in others they are nice and polite. I can say that I don´t have this kind of problems when I´m working.
Azerbaijan is a secular state. How do you perceive women who live in non-secular countries (e. g. Iran)?
N: I have many friends from Iran who don’t feel Islam spiritually but they are forced to wear hijab. Whenever they come to Azerbaijan they feel free and take off their hijab. In non-secular countries religion is a state policy. People don’t feel like being Muslims. Being LGBT is prohibited, but Iran is one of the countries which have high percentage of homosexual people. We are lucky to live in a secular country, but you can find people in Azerbaijan who are more religious than people from Iran wearing hijab. We are lucky in sense of acting independently.
T: Prohibition and limitation make rebels. If you have limitations, you are focusing on them and start wondering why these things are prohibited for me. It is difficult to live in these countries, not because of your beliefs or religion, but because of all these rules like obligatory covering. When women leave their country they like to dress as tourists. As N. mentioned, the percentage of homosexuals is high in Iran. I noticed in recent Iranian movies that film makers are addressing this as a “weakness” in society.
What does it mean to be respected as a woman?
Q: I would begin with a saying of the prophet Mohamed: “Heaven lies under the feet of women.”. I think this saying really influenced our men. They began to respect us. I’m happy I have been born as a girl. We are the future mothers of their children and they need to protect us. For example, it doesn’t matter if he is a friend, boyfriend or you have just met him, they are worried about your safety. Sometimes they accompany you home, even if you live far away. I like this feeling. No matter who the man is you can feel secure around him. Or they also don’t allow you to call waiter by yourself. They do it for you.
T: If you are a woman you shouldn’t be loved only because of your body and education. You should be loved because of your spirit and opinions. All men must feel that you are a woman; you are more emotional, sensitive and touchy.
N: This is a bit tricky question for me. I don’t like being treated differently based on gender. I think people should behave in the same way like we are all equal human beings. But it sounds beautiful to be respected as a woman. Personal example – I don’t like cigarette smoke, because I get headache. If friend knows it and doesn’t stop smoking or go away for the time he is smoking, I feel disrespected. I am always focused on being respected as a human. I cannot differentiate between being respected as a woman or being respected as a man. In most Muslim countries fathers should be respected, he is the main figure in family. But this is not the case in Azerbaijan.
Q: In our families, mothers play the most important role. They are the one taking care of children. If I need something (e. g. permission to go to excursion), I come to my mother. I know she knows the way how to convince father.
T: Maybe it will sound feministic, but women are most beautiful thing on the world and that’s why they must appreciate us.
N: Azerbaijan is considered Muslim country, but in this contemporary world Islam is not just religion, it is part of our culture. So if there is inequality between women and men, like going out in the night time, it is not about discrimination. It is about protection, respect and love (all agree). We don’t see this as a limitation.
Slovenian and Azerbaijani girls of youth exchange “Treasures from a backpack”